


The Bravest Man I've Ever Met

by anorienparker



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-06
Updated: 2011-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 08:45:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anorienparker/pseuds/anorienparker





	The Bravest Man I've Ever Met

For the longest time, Simon wondered why, even after the most mind-blowing sex in the ‘verse, Jayne would leave Simon’s bunk and go back to his own when clearly, his legs weren’t quite up to supporting him yet and he was about to fall asleep while he was trying to get dressed.

Simon asked him to stay more than once, but Jayne would always shake his head and and leave, as if he was afraid Simon would kill him in his sleep or something.

It took Simon nearly five months of this before he finally figured out what the problem was.

Jayne had a secret; one that he’d never shared with anyone. And he didn’t share it with Simon willingly either...it just happened.

The night he found out, the sex was extraordinary, as always, but rather then let Jayne slide out of bed as soon as it was over with, Simon grabbed him and started kissing him. Things progressed and before too long, they were both hard again, and Jayne was on his back, with Simon straddling him and riding him in a slow, steady rhythm. This second time around lasted longer than the first and by the time they’d finished, they were both exhausted....and Jayne, for the first time ever, fell asleep in Simon’s bed. Surprised, but quite happy, Simon curled up next to him and fell asleep as well.

It was just after midnight when Simon woke. Jayne was twitching in bed beside him, mumbling under his breath, and there was just enough light in the room to allow Simon to see Jayne’s hands in the air as if he was trying to push something - or someone - away. Then, suddenly, Jayne sat up in bed and made the most heartbreaking noise Simon had ever heard in his life. It was something between a sob and a cry for mercy. Jayne turned to look at Simon, clearly not really seeing him at first and cowered back against the headboard.

“Jayne...it’s me. Simon.” Simon turned the lamp by the bed on low, then slowly reached out to Jayne, resting one hand just above his knee, rubbing lightly. “It’s only me.”

He saw the recognition in Jayne’s eyes as it dawned on him what had happened and who he was with. Before Jayne could push him away, Simon moved in and wrapped both arms around his lover. Jayne froze for a moment, then seemed to melt into Simon’s chest, his entire body shaking again even more violently than before.

After a long while, the shaking stopped and both men were quiet.

“Didn’t want you to see me like that,” Jayne said, his voice so low Simon had to strain to hear him despite how close they were. Jayne was ready for Simon to tell him to get the hell out of his room, or be mad at him...or maybe even laugh. “I know I was actin’ like a baby. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again. I...”

“You had a nightmare,” Simon said softly, kissing the side of Jayne’s neck. “And you weren’t acting like a baby. You were acting like a man who’d just been forced to live through something horrible in his dreams - something he’d already lived through before in real life.”

More silence followed, then Jayne took a deep breath. “I need to get back to my own bed.”

“No, you need to stay right here,” Simon said calmly. He was surprised when, after only a moment of resistance, Jayne allowed himself to be pushed back against the pillow. Simon sat beside him and began rubbing his back just l he always did when Jayne was tense. Slowly, one by one, he felt tight muscles relaxing, though Jayne refused to look at him or speak.

When he finished, he laid down beside the mercenary and looked at him expectantly.

“I can still protect you, you know,” Jayne muttered. “I ain’t too scared to fight or nothing like that.”

“I know. I never thought you were.” Simon reached out and touched Jayne’s shoulder.

“I ain’t scared of nothin’. Well, except Reavers, and a man’d be stupid not to be scared of them.”

Simon nodded. “I know that too...and I agree.”

More silence followed and Jayne finally met Simon’s gaze. “You don’t think I’m weak?”

Simon held the gaze so Jayne would know he was serious. “Never. I think you’re amazing.”

“Even after.....I made all those noises and...”

“Amazing. Jayne, you're quite honestly the bravest man I’ve ever met.”

A small smile touched Jayne’s lips, then disappeared a second later.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“All right” Simon leaned over and kissed Jayne’s arm. “You don’t have to. But you can, if you ever change your mind.”

Jayne simply nodded.

After another few minutes, he spoke again. Simon had seen the worst part of him, the part he was most ashamed of. And he was still here next to him, hadn’t even tried to leave.

That made him a little suspicious.

“They happen a lot, these....dreams. Might keep you up if I stayed over again.”

Simon moved closer and after a moment’s hesitation, Jayne rolled over onto his side to let Simon snuggle against his chest. “I don’t mind. Besides....I’d rather be here when they happen than in a whole other room. Maybe I can help. Maybe I can wake you up before they get too bad or...something. Maybe...maybe you could stay over all the time.”

Jayne simply held onto Simon just a little tighter, wondering why he’d want to do such a thing. “Well.” He swallowed back his doubts and tried to relax. “ All right then.” He reached down and tugged the blanket up to their necks and smiled again when Simon wrapped an arm over his waist and insinuated one leg between his own.

Simon pressed a kiss against Jayne’s chest and closed his eyes. “Jayne?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Jayne’s eyes widened in surprise. Those words were the very last ones he’d expected to hear from a man like Simon, especially after he’d just made himself look like a big ruttin’ baby, nearly cryin' and gettin’ all panicked-like over a stupid dream. Or a memory. Whatever.

But then, he thought, wasn’t that how he knew Simon meant it?

“Reckon’ I love ya back,” he answered gruffly, though Simon could hear the emotion in his voice that he was trying so damn hard to suppress. “Now get back to sleep, Doc. We’ll be landin’ in a few hours and we don’t have time to sit here talkin’ all gorram night.”

Simon grinned and closed his eyes. “Yes, Jayne, you’re right, as always.”

“Damn right I am....”

Jayne moved into Simon’s bunk the next evening, nightmares and all. The small space went from having a bed, table and chair to having a bed, a nightstand filled with lube, rags, gun cleaning equipment and bullets, a dozen guns over the bed and, of course, Vera.

And as much as all the changes were a bit startling to Simon’s sense of order, he wouldn’t have changed a single thing.


End file.
